Part 1 – Ch. 5 – Eyes Wide Shut or True Lies Bandage

Benda, bugie veritiere, occhi ampiamente chiusi, Eyes wide shut, true, lies, love, life, Serena
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“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

Once Upon A Time…

…there were Serena and Mauro. Or better, there was  Serena. A girl who was “catapultated into a whole new life“…to find out, by chance, or by Providence, that her Italian beloved one, wasn’t only hers…. And legally speaking, wasn’t hers at all. So, let’s encounter her, exactly were we’ve left her: on the floor of their luxurious apartment. Wearing true lies bandage, with her eyes being wide shut.

Opening The Eyes Wide Shut

Slowly, Serena opened her eyes… The first thing she saw was a parquet…  A parquet floor… Then a left corner of the white leather sofa… A pencil under the sofa… “What is it doing there?” was the first thought that crossed Serena’s mind.

“What am I doing here?!! ” naturally, was the second one. “Oh… …” 

Slowly, Serena remembered that she had a blackout… Reason…. What on earth was the reason?! Shit…

Slowly, Serena moved her eyes on the sheets of paper scatterd all over the pavement. Ok, the letter.

The Jigsaw Letter

A gentle breeze was bursting through the slightly opened window and playing with the sheets of the letter as if they were different pieces of a puzzle. Different pieces of the jigsaw puzzle Serena now had to put back together… Or there were different puzzles?

Suddenly, Serena remembered the gitters and the sense of tremendous shock that the letter had caused her. Serena could hardly remember the details of her blackout that followed the reading of the letter, yet she realized it was it. After all, it was the only logical explanation Serena could get for her being sprawled out on the floor.

Serena was also realizing that this time she got it right. For the very first time since she had met Mauro.

For a moment Serena felt helpless and desperate. It was the moment, Serena realized she had lived with her eyes wide shut for a while already. Yet, there was as if an invisible bandage obscuring her sight.

A gentle breeze was stirring these jigsaw pieces and thus producing a pleasant noise…  The fresh air with its tasty notes of early spring that has just started was filling the room. Breath. Gently… Never stop….

Taking off The Bandage

Slowly, Serena started to remember. So, there was this letter. The letter that wasn’t even addressed to her. Hence, it was the letter Serena wasn’t even supposed to read.  Yet she did. And now, against any logical sense, Serena was weirdly happy she’d read it. Life is a curious thing, after all.

And this was a very curious life coincidence. But was it a mere coincidence? Or was it Providence intending to make Serena open her eyes which were so wide shut till that moment? And dissolve a tissue of true lies bandage Serena was unconsciously wearing ever since she had fallen in love?

First,

the letter was clearly revealing a part of Serena’s life she wasn’t aware of. On one hand, that her boyfriend and the love of her life was a perfect lier. On the other, that the lier had a wife and two sons.

Second,

the letter was putting black on white that all the things that Mauro had ever told Serena weren’t other than lies. Lies that were so accurately studied that seemed so true. “Uguh, “true lies”… This sounds familiar, yet doesn’t feel much as a comedy”. Now, Serena suddenly knew there were some more lies about all Mauro’s life story. At least about the version he had told for her. Think.

Third,

Serena knew that a person who lied once would do it again. Moreover, these weren’t insignificant lies. These were terrible lies. Hence, Serena was slowly realizing she couldn’t trust Mauro ever again. Just as Nietzsche had once stated: “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”  And ever slowly, Serena started doubting in any single word that Mauro had ever said to her. “Does he even love me? Or all those words were true lies as well?”

Fourth,

Serena wasn’t only upset with Mauro. From now on, she was also afraid of him. That’s human nature, we are always afraid of what we don’t know…

Fith,

the content of this letter was so obviously about to change Serena’s future life. Yet, the letter didn’t contain girl’s name. Neither those who had written it seemed to be even aware of Serena’s existence. Curious coincidence or Providence taking a bandage off Serena’s eyes wide shut?

The Jigsaw Puzzle

“What did I miss?” Serena started slowly to analyze the whole course of the last year events. She was trying to remember every single word Mauro had ever said to her. Making her mind analyse every detail, every fact that wouldn’t match with another. However, nothing was coming out. Nothing.

Single

“He said he was single, that he had never been married and never had kids. Ok, that was obviously a lie. The most absolute lie one had ever invented. And then said it aloud. For thousand times by now. Yet, he was deeply convinced. And, therefore, was so convincing…And I was so blind” Serena had another rush of gitters. “Ok, breath. Mauro said he was single. He was lying looking me right in the eye. For one year uninterruptedly. Lying to my parents. To my friends. Lying to everyone around us. How on earth did he manage to?!! Let alone me, my family and my friends… What about friends of him? Did they know? Do they know? If they know, than what?!!”

Orphan

Still sprawled out on the floor, Serena was trying to assemble the pieces of jigsaw puzzle… “Ok, what’s next? He said he was orphan and grew up in orphanage together with his older brother. His brother had died a few years ago. Finish line. I do remember Mauro said he had no parents, no relatives. No one in the whole world. And that the only dear person to him is….me!”

Then it suddenly hit her!

“True” Love

Right, it was there. Right in front of her eyes! All the time!

Amore mio, non lasciarmi mai” (“My love, don’t ever leave me”)… now it was starting to make sense… This phrase, pronounced by Mauro in most romantic and intimate moments, was giving Serena gitters ever since she met him… All the time! She never thought it was logic to say something similar to the person you know is deeply in love with you. Probably, till the end of times.

Especially, because Serana had proved that to her beloved Mauro by changing her life completely. She left her country and her home, left behind her studies and friends. Practically, she gave up everything just to be with him. He couldn’t doubt. Mauro had no moral right to doubt. (Let alone moral right to lie.) “If you doubt, you make little steps – probaby, at sail’s pace – in order to go ahead. And you certainly don’t twist your life and that of the other person. Instead if you trust, you don’t doubt. Why did he doubt?”

Serena’s mind was workind frenetically. “Because he had something to hide… Something he was sure I would never accept or understand. Something that could be superior than my love to him… Was he aware his secret is superior than my love to him could ever  be? What is his secret? Is his secret having a secret family? Or is there more?”

To be continued…

real, people, girl, love, sex

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