“It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found. I am only here tonight because of you. You are the only reason I am. You are all my reasons. Thank you.” – John Forbes Nash Jr (Beautiful Mind)
Love in Italy
It is said that since antiquity love and passion have been the main ingredients of Italian society. It is said that Italy is the homeland to the most unpredictable love stories and unusual ways of living them. Some examples? From the most famous narrated stories like that of Romeo and Juliet, Renzo and Lucia, Paolo and Francesca, to the real ones like that of Sandra Mondaini and Raimondo Vianello, Francesco Arca and Irene Capuano, Francesco Totti and Ilary Blasi, to name just a few.
Is True Love A Fairy Tale?
Yet, today only a handful of Italians (where the “handful” is probably an euphemism of the century) believe that true love is not just a fairy tale, an utopia, a myth. Sceptically, those others say: “As long as the eyes don’t see it, the heart doesn’t believe it exists”. The problem is that a very few people actually see it. Honestly, let’s look around and ask ourselves how many couples we do know who are in true love relationship for a lifetime (excluding those who are together for habit, or other reasons)? Sadly, there are barely a few couples that we can name.
On the contrary, quite often we are used to witness how even the most promising love stories die. Take for example that of Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel or that of Valeria Golino and Riccardo Scamarcio. And when love dies, it feels colder than death. It doesn’t matter if it’s over due to betrayal or if it’s just over. The real problem is that the two “hearts” do never turn off at the same time. But when the love of One inexplicably fades away, the Other feels as if he’d been dying. No exception for VIPs or “common mortals”: the inexistent love laws are just the same for everyone.
If we look at the statistics, the picture becomes even more daunting. According to the ISTAT, Italian marriages tend to end after 15 or 18 years. Moreover, some love stories only last for a few months. Thus, we are somewhat far beyond of the idea of “true love” and the “happily-ever-after”. Logically, it seems impossible to believe that if we are in love today, we will feel the same way a far tomorrow.
The lack of positive examples certainly is a basic problem. Also, it is known that love can be cruel and devastating, that love hurts. Yet, love remains among the most pure and greedy human desires at the same time. Why? Because true love is what makes us feel alive, what makes our souls and our lives complete.
The Reason of Love
Paulo Coelho wrote, “Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other. Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.” On the other side of the world, John Forbes Nash Jr. said, “It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found. I am only here tonight because of you. You are the only reason I am. You are all my reasons.”
Personally, I always get astonished by the profound thoughts that describe the true reason of this enigmatic feeling, offering us a clear and unequivocal equation of love, according to which if love is true, 1+1=1, and never 2.
True Love as The Answer to Human Existence
According to the ancient myth, described in the Symposium, in the story of Aristophanes, once upon a time the human nature had been much different from today’s. First of all, all humans had have four legs, four hands, four ears, two genitals, two faces opposite one another, and one head. Furthermore, the humans had been of three sexes: male (having two male sexes), female (having two female sexes) and androgen (having both sexes). Vigorous, self-centred, smart and presumptuous, our legendary ancestors had tempted several times to attack the sky.
Troubled by the insolent arrogance of the humans, Zeus had decided to punish and weaken them with the resection, transforming one human being into two. Ever since a wounding wound in all human’s hearts and souls had been created. As if it was not enough, the gods opted to distance one “half” from the other, scattering them around the world in order to hinder the finding, and thus condemning the humans to eternal and absolute suffering. This way, according to the myth, all human beings are destined to incessant and painful pilgrimage in the search, without rest, of their own half.
This ancient philosophy not only explains love as an intrinsic desire for reunion, but highlights the legitimacy of true love among similar sexes. In other words, not only between men and women, but also between men and men, women and women. As for the reunion, it is up to Eros, the demon (il demone), to reconstruct with its building strength the ancient original human form (either homosexual or homosexual), finally putting together the two halves that once upon a time had been separated so harshly and violently.
The Pilgrimage of Love
Shakespeare said, “Journeys end in lovers meeting”. Yet, to end up in “happily-ever-after”, the two “halves” must match perfectly, to reveal themselves the so-called “twin souls”. It was always Shakespeare to say that “love is blind”. As for this statement, the wise man couldn’t be more right. Anyone, who has lived long enough, knows that love mutes as the days are passing by. Sometimes it grows up to stratospheric dimensions, and other times it gradually fades away or simply gets lost. Yet, unfortunately, there are times when it happens to realise that love has never even been there since the beginning.
Equations of Love Stories
No wonder, that after a similar experience, there are those of us who lose hope forever and stop believing. The non-believers, those internally dead people still able to walk, are unable to recognize the true love even when it suddenly occurs. On the contrary, they make it “face the bill” of the previous one.
Then, there are those of us who even after discovering they are not in love anymore, or are not loved by the person that they are in a relationship with, decide to continue their love story without love. Sentimentally restrained, they choose “life” intoxicated with hypocritical happiness. Unfortunately, the Italians are “experts” in how to keep up appearences and the relationships deprived of love. It may be due to the complicated Italian legislation, social position, or economic situation… Unloved, unhappy among lovers, handicapped with no subsidies reserved, victims of rational reasons, these people are the most miserable among all.
And then, there are those of us who clearly know who they are, undersand what have happened, and realise what they do actually want… These bravehearts and dreamers, inspite of all painful experiences and delusions, have the strength to turn the page and continue their pilgrimage without stopping, in order to find their other half and the true love of their life. Fighters by nature, these of us are demanding, uncomfortable and not accommodating. And in the end of their journey, theys are the only ones who are envied by all other humans defeated by gods…
Do you believe that true love is just a myth? Or that it’s the only answer to human existence? Share your opinion!